Alexander Blok today. I absolutely love his poetry (and Symbolist poetry in general), but (as with most poetry) I tend to understand absolutely none of it on a level that I can articulate. My favorite of his works so far is still “The Twelve,” resounding in its conflicted and gloomy view of the Revolution. Nevertheless, I still find poetry too difficult to pin down well enough to actually analyze it. Sometimes it almost feels sacrilegious to pull apart those beautiful verses and dissect them, rather than just stopping in awe at the mystery of their beauty.
Speaking of which, why do westerners always need an answer? The West has allowed natural curiosity to develop from a human trait into a cultural obsession and art form, and I’m not entirely sure it’s healthy. It leads to the need to define everything, pick it apart, and then put it back together again after you figure out exactly how it works, and there is no beauty left, because you destroyed it in order to play with it, and then tried to put it back together – which never quite works the same way (which I think we all realized when we tried to see the inside of Barbie at the age of four). Perhaps the most fundamentally harmful side effects of this cultural habit is that nothing is sacred. When presented with things other human beings have accepted for millennia, people want to know how Communion works, and why some things exist, even though they’re uncomfortable when they’re “inefficient” (confession: I also have an efficiency addiction. I cannot legitimately criticize this, but I can critically describe it… right?). The answers, of course, are honor, respect, self-discipline, love, and the fear of God. Things that America has largely forgotten. I honestly don’t understand making your world easier at the consequence of losing all meaning within it… but I suppose that’s just me.
Speaking of America, though! (It appears I’m really on a roll today.) Fr. Victor Potapov reportedly once said that every Orthodox convert needs to visit an Orthodox country, in order to see the conversion goals for the US. Having seen Russia, I can say we have quite a distance to go. I even see the difference between Moscow and Petersburg. I see more frivolity and very western fashion-esque clothing, and fewer baptismal crosses and headscarves (on women of any age). People are a little less sweet to strangers, and my (admittedly terrible) practice of making the chain of my cross very visible when I need people to be nice to me is less effective. Compare to America, though, where I’m considering a Mary and idol worshipping cult member, and where a cross around your neck draws far more attention, and carries many more stereotypes and assumptions with it. So, what are our conversion goals? Let people know what this religion is. A Russian may be utterly non-religious, but he certainly knows what church looks like.
And speaking of religion in Russia, I forgot to mention a guy who went to Catherine’s Palace with us on Saturday as a friend of the guide. He was my first encounter with a Russian Baptist, when he asked me if I loved Jesus, and surprisingly enough left me alone when I said «Я православная» (and then subsequently told one of the atheists in our group that “God was going to zap him”). Nice guy, but I do wonder how the Baptists regard the Orthodox… I expected him to see me as worse off than the atheists, but apparently not? Must do more research into this. Fully formed ideas by the time I leave. I promise.
Anyway, we also went to a souvenir market by the Church on the Spilled Blood, where I got some ridiculously good deals. This was the combination of a few factors: I look really adorable when I say I’m a student of Russian literature/language, I can get away with saying that matryoshki are for my mom (it was true!), and one guy was basically trying to hit on me by giving me discounts. That, and Moscow actually made me a lot better at haggling, and knowing what prices I should walk away with. Fun trip, and souvenir shopping is officially done.
Also, as tonight was Virginia’s (20th) birthday, most of us went out to a Georgian restaurant for dinner, where we refused to let her pay one kopeck for the entire meal. Amazing food, but just one complaint: they didn’t actually have Georgian wine. I love Georgian wine. What kind of Georgian restaurant doesn’t have delicious, delicious dark red Georgian wine? Silly Russia.
(OH! Fun fact! I also learned today that we apparently bribed the Pushkin Museum to get inside at Tsarskoe Selo. Russia +1)
If 'the west' has forgotten the answers to important questions, is it not good for them to be curious and ask the questions over again? Is it easier for those who do not seek truth to find it? And, about efficiency, I am strongly of the opinion that one can more legitimately criticize oneself than others, and it helps you to avoid the seductive trap (that I have often fallen into) of claiming to be separate from the society that shaped you merely because you disapprove of it. Not to call you a typical American, by any stretch, but you can't escape that part of you.
ReplyDeleteHmm... well, to address the last part first, I can now more freely admit that I'm an American, but I still feel less intellectually or culturally accepted in America.
ReplyDeleteAnd I didn't say curiosity is bad, just that taking it to an extreme is unhealthy, as it is with anything.